The otherwise normal-looking wedding invitation was addressed 'to Mr. and Mrs. Brian and Megan Coffeefield, their creative muses, alter egos, and to the angels and devils whispering in their ears.'
Mrs. Coffeefield opened it tenuously. The invitation was from her youngest cousin Beatrice, the one who had abandoned college to run off with her then-boyfriend on some startup business flop of his involving drink mix sales. She breathed a sigh of relief, however, to discover that Roland's(copywright UB) name was nowhere to be found. Perhaps Beatrice Jean McKutcheon had wised up and found a more respectable man in this Roger Edward Clifton. She could only hope. Beatrice's last several boyfriends had been rather lacking in respectability.
The details of the ceremony were straightforward enough, but the reception checkbox seemed to have been replaced with a 'creative memory event' checkbox. Megan shook the envelope again, and another card fell out onto the floor.
'Hello, wedding invitee!' read Beatrice's loopy handwriting. 'Since Roger is studying to be a filmmaker,' oh great, another deadbeat, thought Megan, 'we thought we would have some fun with our wedding video by creating several alternate wedding ceremony endings to record, with each one a bit more interesting than the last one.' 'Oh Lord,' thought Megan. 'Who would do this to their wedding?' By 'interesting,' Megan knew exactly what Beatrice meant; bizarre, slowly degenerative twists on a proper ceremony until the final version should resemble a silly catastrophe, which in a sad sort of way, it already was. She could see the cheesy scenes already: in the takes after the real ceremony, the parents would decide not to hold their peace, the groom would scream and run at the vows, the maid of honor would kiss the preacher, the bride would walk in totally sloshed, the groom would grab the best man's ass, everybody would be wearing pirate patches....
The card continued: 'Please bring your costume, which can be reserved at Roland's Adult Novelty, Live Bait, and Tackle.'
Megan looked at her calendar. Although nothing was listed for the wedding date, she checked the 'regrets' box anyway.-- RayfordSteele, Oct 23 2006 + ...the father of the bride fell on the cake as bridesmaid tossed the bouquet to her lesbian girlfriend and the waitress ran away with the groom.-- xandram, Oct 23 2006 "Roland's Adult Novelty, Live Bait, and Tackle.'"
I think you should franchise this operation.-- normzone, Oct 23 2006 This is superb.-- Jinbish, Oct 23 2006 Roland is becoming quite the entrepreneur. Good to see him branching out. (+) for the idea.-- jurist, Oct 23 2006 As someone slowly planning nuptials, I desperately want to vote against this idea, because i just know a weird copy would make its way to my not-invited-grandmother, and yet I want to see how it comes out...-- shapu, Oct 23 2006 Sounds like my half-sister's weddings. All of them. (Nine!)-- angel, Oct 25 2006 Ooh, I do hope she's over 18, and you weren't listed as the groom in any of those ceremonies. Cheers, [angel].-- jurist, Oct 25 2006 If the wedding scripts are written as well as the idea then it should be a winner.-- DrBob, Oct 25 2006 BUN! I nearly spit a mouthful of coke on the monitor when I saw the title to this invention. Being that I like to do video editing myself I could really see the fun in this:
Alternate Ending #1- "...let them speak now or forever hold their peace." Then the ex boyfriend comes running into the church yelling, "I love you! I am the one you want to marry!"
Alternate Ending #2- "...let them speak now or forever-" someone walks into the church and says, "uhh.... did someone order pizza?"
Alternate Ending #3- The Scooby Doo ending- "Now let's lift the veil and see who this woman REALLY is!" Oh those meddling kids!-- Jscotty, Oct 26 2006 Flaky funny, flaky bunny. (+)-- elhigh, Oct 30 2006 Sounds like a cross between "Tony and Tina's Wedding" and "The Mystary of Edwin Drood". In other words it would be more for a theatrical event. It would be a lot of fun that way. An actual wedding ceremony of this sort couldn't be very practical.-- -wess, Oct 30 2006 random, halfbakery