Public: Library
A lending library of puns   (+2)  [vote for, against]

It is often a pun comes to mind, but there is no relevant situation at the time.

Library member X has need of a pun, but can't think of one. They can use the library to find something relevant, and return it when the deed is done.

Example (takes sip of water) <start of pun>" I went to Crete for a holiday and to study their culture, but it's not my scene these days" </end of pun>.
-- not_morrison_rm, Feb 17 2019

[8th] already has more than enough puns. For gods' sakes, let's not encourage him further.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2019


All your pun are belong to us.
-- 8th of 7, Feb 17 2019


For some reason, the "All your X are belong to us." always appears to be in a deep Jamaican Reggae accent in my head. "Ahhhhl your pun are belong to us."

Still, maybe the Borg have Jamaican accents. "We arrr de hegemonizin' swaahrm, booyakasha!"
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2019


Depends on the species, obviously. 8th hasn't seen his since 1991, but that doesn't mean they aren't there.
-- RayfordSteele, Feb 17 2019


A smelly man who follows word play?
-- xenzag, Feb 17 2019


Ahhh no. The answer is pungent of course.
-- xenzag, Feb 17 2019


You can get ointment for that, now ... it's called punguent.

We don't want to rub it in, though.
-- 8th of 7, Feb 17 2019


What would the filing system be like for puns? I don't think the Dewey decimal systems would work. Is the pun filed under the initiator or the resultant? Or perhaps both, like a language translation dictionary.

I would think that really bad puns don't need to be returned to the library. They could be left for dead.
-- tumblewit, Feb 17 2019


Dewey decimal would be fine, despite being created by a small cartoon duck.

Very early example of an equal opportunities program etc.
-- not_morrison_rm, Feb 17 2019


// plagerized //

With a Black Spot ... ?

Hmmm ... is there an echo in here ... ?
-- 8th of 7, Feb 17 2019


.
-- pertinax, Feb 18 2019


.
-- pertinax, Feb 18 2019


Yes, and you can hear a pin drop.
-- pertinax, Feb 18 2019


We need an ISO standard pin dropped from a prescribed height onto a prescribed surface
-- RayfordSteele, Feb 18 2019


What if someone doctors the results, though ?
-- 8th of 7, Feb 18 2019


I think newspapers have some pre-written articles for very slow news days, so are they prescribed?
-- not_morrison_rm, Feb 18 2019


Only the ones for the Tabloids ...

// really bad puns don't need to be returned to the library. They could be left for dead //

Certainly not, they should be released back into the wild, where they can join a flock of their feral siblings. Natural selection will result in tougher, more vigourous puns that are better adapted to a harsh environment.
-- 8th of 7, Feb 18 2019


<Awestruck silence>

<DEAFENING APPLAUSE/>
-- 8th of 7, Feb 18 2019


//I would think that really bad puns don't need to be returned to the library. They could be left for dead//

You were so close. The phrase that you needed was “This idea should be shelved.”
-- AusCan531, Feb 19 2019


So, MFD un-called-for list?

Synchronized vulgarity dozen twerk.
-- pertinax, Feb 21 2019


//What would the filing system be like for puns?//

May I refer you back to the original idea.

// .. relevant situation .. //

A filing system probably isn't going to be much use for this sort of retrieval to be honest.

So we probably need a database with several "suitable situation" fields for the search strings to latch onto.
-- Skewed, Feb 21 2019


// A filing system probably isn't going to be much use //

Not for puns; it might work for irony filings, though ...
-- 8th of 7, Feb 21 2019


Aren't those magnetic?

Oh & type slower, you got an e when you wanted a w there, "eork".
-- Skewed, Feb 21 2019


They could be stored in a pun net. The gentleman in charge of that would be known as the 'pun gent', of course.
-- bhumphrys, Feb 21 2019


We've already been there with that one.
-- xenzag, Feb 21 2019


I keep reading this idea as "Lending Library Of Puss"
-- xenzag, Feb 21 2019


That would have an interesting catalog ...

Just be glad it isn't Lending Library Of Pus, which sounds exceedingly unpleasant.
-- 8th of 7, Feb 22 2019


Wonders if Capt'n Smith of the Titanic said "Its the tip of the iceberg".
-- not_morrison_rm, Feb 22 2019


Captain Smith, shirley ?
-- 8th of 7, Feb 22 2019


//Captain Smith

Ah, but that was just his stage name.
-- not_morrison_rm, Feb 22 2019


Never forget, the pun is mightier than the sword; just think of all the millions killed by Attila the Pun.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 23 2019


Attila's punditry is well known to all -- hard to say if he was more of a pundit or a pundal -- although he raised more than one eyebrow when he offered to suck Rome to the bone.
-- theircompetitor, Feb 23 2019



random, halfbakery