A model helicopter, sitting on a landing pad, plugged into a power socket and charging up a series of large capacitors, several slices of bread loaded into the stripped-down toaster in the cargo bay.
A remote control, with buttons marked FLIGHT, RELEASE and a variable control for TOASTEDNESS. Spin up the desired level of darkness on the dial and hit FLIGHT, then guide the Flying Toaster on a lap or two of the room, while the capacitors discharge and heat the toaster elements to impart a singed surface to the bread, before bringing the chopper in over the table and toggling the RELEASE button.
Two slices of toast and a small selection of spreads and conserves are launched to your plate, where you have placed a compact LASER designator device, so you get an accurate payload delivery every time.-- UnaBubba, Apr 25 2012 Perhaps a blimp will suffice? http://airswimmers.com/Just have it lift the toast out of the toaster to your plate... [RayfordSteele, Apr 26 2012] Payload. http://www.helifrea...thread.php?t=171067Possibly relevant, not really interesting. [erenjay, Apr 26 2012] I don't think a helicopter capable of carrying a toaster would be safe for inside use- maybe if the bread is toasted on the ground/bench, then helicopter carries the toast to your plate?-- erenjay, Apr 26 2012 Then you may need a bigger house or fewer chandeliers.-- UnaBubba, Apr 26 2012 I beg to differ. My two slice toaster weighs 2.2 kg, after "stripping down" and adding the necessary launching mechanisms and such, we can assume a ~2 kg (4.4 pounds). As discussed in my [link], a T-rex 600 electric helicopter would struggle with, but possibly manage, that kind of payload. The aformentioned T-rex heli is 1.2m (47.25') from nose to tail (not including the rotor). If you feel safe with a 3kg helicopter carrying a 2kg payload hovering less than 2 metres above your head, then thats good for you, but I certainly don't.-- erenjay, Apr 26 2012 Flying Toaster's using the Flying Toaster again....watch out below.-- blissmiss, Apr 26 2012 Why not a hot air balloon?-- normzone, Apr 26 2012 Overhead crane. Option of bridge, gantry, or jib to fit kitchen size and configuration. Nestled cranes could be used to deliver condiments, utensils, and the newspaper/iPad.
I actually met a man who specializes in building working scale models of overhead cranes. He makes them as demo models for companies that build the real thing to take to trade shows and sales pitches.
[bliss] got a laugh out of me, as usual.-- Alterother, Apr 26 2012 // don't think a helicopter capable of carrying a toaster carrying a toaster would be safe for inside use //
Even better … [+]-- 8th of 7, Apr 26 2012 [RS]' <link> : WANT!-- FlyingToaster, Apr 26 2012 I wonder if you can get the shark with real teeth/actuated jaw. CHOMP!-- Alterother, Apr 26 2012 That's why it's so much fun, [erenjay]. This place is for **halfbaked** ideas... not practical ones.-- UnaBubba, Apr 26 2012 "half-assed" however is not a substitute.-- FlyingToaster, Apr 26 2012 Absolutely not. Every crackpot notion that graces these hallowed pages must be whatsoever no less than fully- assed.-- Alterother, Apr 26 2012 And a rat's one at that.-- blissmiss, Apr 26 2012 Look! A five-assed monkey!-- UnaBubba, Apr 26 2012 //and a rat's one at that//-does the crackpot notion have to be a rat's? Or must the idea be fully rat's assed?-- erenjay, Apr 26 2012 Put the mirror down…-- 8th of 7, Apr 26 2012 I'm sorry, Mr [8th]. I should have known better than to hold up a mirror to thine supremely benevolent, be-buttocked countenance.-- UnaBubba, Apr 27 2012 well known Borg weak spot... when his own laser shines back into his optical sensor he attacks reflexively. The easiest way to defeat them really, barring having a few kittens on hand.-- FlyingToaster, Apr 27 2012 random, halfbakery