There exists the expression 3 dog night, or in other words, a night so cold you need to sleep with 3 dogs to comfortable. A three dog night, naturally, is very cold, the coldest night that can be measured in dogs, it would seem. (otherwise, you'd hear about the even colder 4-dog night)
Well, this raises a dilemna. There are only 4 settings on this dial: 0 dogs, 1 dog, 2 dogs, 3 dogs. What if it is only a 2 and 1/2 dog night? Then you will be stuck using 2 dogs, and being too cold, or 3 dogs, and being too hot.
Finicky sleepers need a high degree of precision, hence it is time to measure temperature in cats.
The advantages are obvious: even on not-so-cold nights, a single cat can increase overall sleeping comfort, whereas a single dog would be too warm. A person on the dog system would be out of luck. Meanwhile, since dogs are larger, there would be gaps between them. Cats, being smaller, can be packed in tighter and offer better insulation.
I thought about mixing the two temperature scales, but I figured it'd be hard enough getting the cats to hold still WITHOUT the dogs to chase them. So, a 2 dog, 3 cat night is out of the question.-- Madai, Sep 02 2005 Excellent band. http://www.threedognight.com/ [angel, Sep 03 2005] Two cats mad Two_20Cats_20Mad [ldischler, Sep 04 2005] For [normzone] dead_20Tauntaun_20sleeping_20bag [theleopard, May 06 2008] Cat/freezer equivalence http://www.charlott...n/story/610894.htmlGuy stores 300 dead cats in three freezers, teaching us two things: 1 freezer equals 300 cats, and 300 cats ain't always warm. [luxlucet, May 08 2008] The "TOG" http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Tog_%28unit%29At the Wikipedia [neutrinos_shadow, May 08 2008] name tog is derived from the old English slang for clothing. It is not an acronym as is commonly thought http://www.djha.com...wn_and_Feather.htmlGoogle is my friend [normzone, May 09 2008] This word comes from the language spoken by vagabonds, called Vagabond's Cant, in the 16th century http://www.takeourw...m/TOW166/page2.htmlOr an alternative take on it [normzone, May 09 2008] I would like to observe that the dog system was devised back when there was really only one standard size of dog. Since those days, a wide variety of dog sizes have become available, including very small, cat-sized dogs. Rather than throw out the baby with the bathwater and resort to cats, I propose that the current system be revised to accomodate varying dog sizes. Dogs could be expressed as a percentage of standard dogs - thus a two dog night would require 4 of my half-size beagles, or 14 of my 16%-sized minature daschunds.-- bungston, Sep 02 2005 Being one cat mad, I can testify that a single cat can decrease overall sleeping comfort, especially when she wakes up and wants to talk in the middle of the night.-- normzone, Sep 02 2005 my four cat and three cat household was pretty harmonious - well, the cats did fight occasionally.
dogs will warm you but cats just make you itch.
yeah and what norm said. more than one cat and you could find yourself excluded from the conversation...
+1 brilliant scientific investigative fodder though.-- po, Sep 02 2005 Or step all over your shins. What the hell is that all about???-- daseva, Sep 02 2005 better than shitting on your steps...-- po, Sep 02 2005 //a night so cold you need to sleep with 3 dogs to comfortable//
A tame explanation, that is. Its actually a night so cold that you have to kill one of your dogs, cut them open, and put your hands and feet inside to avoid frostbite. The colder it is, the faster the corpse cools, hence the need for additional dogs.
<pictures cats as slippers and mittens>-- Shz, Sep 02 2005 [cuts open taun taun with light saber]
"...these things smell as bad inside as they do outside..."-- normzone, Sep 02 2005 [shz] that is awfuk!-- po, Sep 02 2005 /put your hands and feet inside to avoid frostbite/
If one kept a cow for this purpose rather than a dog, it might be possible to use the cow over and over.-- bungston, Sep 02 2005 One hump or two?-- Adze, Sep 04 2005 I thought you smoked the Camel after the hump.
I had already heard about the explanation of the term being attributed to the eskimos and the aborigines, but this is the first I've heard of killing & cutting open. I think George Lucas has influenced your imagination, [Shz].-- Canuck, Sep 04 2005 Now I want the opportunity to use the phrase "three dog night" but it's still summer.-- wagster, Sep 04 2005 Cats are still too imprecise. I must have a guinea pig scale. [+] for pushing the boundaries though.-- DocBrown, Sep 05 2005 You honestly think you'd get any sleep sharing a bed with 300 guinea pigs? ."squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak" (guinea pigs 1 to 75) ...."squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak" (guinea pigs 76 to 150) .."squeak squeaksqueeeeeaksqueak" (guinea pigs 151 to 225) ......"squeeeeeeeeak squeeeeeeEEEEeeak" (guinea pigs 226 to 300)
(note: all four lines to be sung as guinea pig vocal harmony, in a round)-- david_scothern, Sep 05 2005 I'd like 200 guinea pigs and 20 cats. Not exactly quiet, but fun to watch.-- wagster, Sep 05 2005 //so, what's a "three camel night" then?//
An Arabian rock band, a reference to nativity, or an early night to bed cause youre almost out of smokes. Or did you mean a three camel knight?
//I think George Lucas has influenced your imagination//
Dont be ridiculous, it was Jack London.
+, so long as a lynx counts as a cat.-- Shz, Sep 05 2005 The image of cats being packed for greater insulation: Priceless and worth a bun.-- Germanicus, Sep 05 2005 Interesting a concept as this is, surely it should be MFD'd as Naming?-- hidden truths, Sep 06 2005 No, inventing a new scientific scale is different to naming something that already exists.-- wagster, Sep 06 2005 What new scale? Melting point of ice is 273.15 K (ie at that temperature one needs a covering of 273 kittens to feel snug)-- ConsulFlaminicus, Sep 07 2005 Therefore at 0K you would be comfortable with 0 kittens on you? And at 600K you would be best under a covering of 600 kittens? You test it [Consul], and I'll measure your vital signs.-- wagster, Sep 07 2005 Well.. at zero K yes, one would be comfortable with no kittens on. .. although one could not think one was comfortable because ones neurons would not be capable of any electrical activity so even though one would certainly not 'feel' cold (because one wouldn't be able to sense anything), one would not 'know' ones own state of comfort.
At the higher temperatures, say 600 K for argument's ake, one would indeed find that 600 kittens would be very useful in shielding one from the intense heat.
The defence rests, m'lud.-- ConsulFlaminicus, Sep 07 2005 ...under kittens?-- david_scothern, Sep 07 2005 so what's the temperature of the sun?-- ixnaum, Sep 08 2005 Drop me a note and I'll comment! (some on the board are trashing you; some miss you & want to communicate. but i cant' find your email address.)-- Overbearing, Oct 28 2005 [ConsulFlaminicus], the correct terminology is not zero k, but OK, as in:
"Oh, I didn't need any kittens, it was OK."
Trash [Unabubba]? Never in a thousand years.-- normzone, Oct 28 2005 Isn't a three-camel night what happens when the US Marines drink one too many Buds out there in good old I-raq and lose their inhibitions?-- neuro, May 06 2008 Category: Science: Unit of measurement?-- coprocephalous, May 06 2008 //it was Jack London.//
That dog was too smart for that, though, or that dude was too dumb.-- nomocrow, May 07 2008 Somehow I missed this in '05. Hmmmsss. Wonder how that happened? Cats in the bed idea and it snuck past me on little kitty feet? I like '-)-- blissmiss, May 07 2008 could also be used as measurements of immobility or allergic reaction or annoyance.-- FlyingToaster, May 07 2008 And here I was thinking it would be like the Three Cats Mad idea, as a way to measure just how crazy a night might be.
However, I must point out that the three dog night may actually be warmer than a three cat night if the dogs in question are chihuahuas...
And yes, against all probability, scientific evidence places chihuahuas in the category of Dog, not Rat.-- ye_river_xiv, May 07 2008 What's the smallest unit, then, of animal heat? Amoeba?
I'd like a sixty quintillion amoeba-warm blanket.-- qt75rx1, May 08 2008 [+] for this idea. I'd also suggest that 'fractional horse night' could be a useful phrase, describing what those who get on the wrong side of a mobster may find themselves experiencing.-- imaginality, May 08 2008 Around here they sell duvets in TOGs. What the hell is a TOG and how many go into each duvet?-- wagster, May 08 2008 [wagster] - see link. It still doesn't explain where the word comes from. Is it an acronym, some-ones name, or did it just sound like a good idea at the time?-- neutrinos_shadow, May 08 2008 (see links)-- normzone, May 09 2008 random, halfbakery