Having read the critically acclaimed “100 Things To Do Before You Die”, and having subsequently done them all, I felt obligated to write this, the “100 Things To Do And You Will Die”; for those of us with nothing new left to experience in this meagre, limited world under the irritating constraints of mortality. Discard your trivial, self- absorbed concern for life, read this book, and when you are ready, choose. Choose wisely however, for you only get to do one of them.
Editor theleopard, “100 Things To Do And You Will Die.”
1. The Walking From The Bulls, Spain
If you enjoyed the Running Of The Bulls then perhaps the Walking From The Bulls will be your ideal ticket. It is similar in most respects to the time-honoured Spanish tradition, although with rather less running away.
2. Completely Free Freefall, the Sky
No jumpsuit, no goggles, no gloves, no parachute; 14,000 feet of pure, unadulterated freefall. Feel the wind around every limb on your body the way nature intended. If man could fly, he’d look like you – just not for very long.
3. Step Out For a Breath Of Fresh Vacuum, Space
Only in 1971 has someone been exposed to the vacuum of space, and, since no one has lived to tell the tale, one can only imagine what it feels like to be so close to God/s. Wearing your best Armani suit, step into the air lock with an offering to your Lord (whomsoever it may be) presenting your gratitude for his gifts; life, the Universe and everything. Alternatively, be cynical and go out flipping the bird.
4. Iranian Gay Tours, Iran
Never been with a man? Never been brutally murdered? Two birds [sic] with one stone. Or, indeed, lots of stones, thrown by an angry mob.
5. Swimming with the fishes, Newark Bay
Enjoy an evening of bountiful Italian food and wine, an illegal game of cards with friendly Italian-Americans and some waiter's-foot target practice before retiring to the car amidst smiles and laughter on your way to the Peaches titty bar. After a sharp blow to the head, awake to find the fishes nibbling on your ears as you do the concrete shoes dance. Real, authentic Mafia action!
6. Tiger Punching, India
Put up your dukes and go mono y mono with one of the World's most ferocious predators.
7. Rugby Challenge, Twickenham
Take on the entire England team in an 80 minute gruelling scrum. The ball is strapped to your chest so you can't drop it, what an advantage! You'll need it, as there's no one else on your team and the opposition have been offered some free beer if they reach 1,500 points.
14. Live Organ Donorship, the Hospital
Show some heart, and then give it away to someone less fabulous than yourself. They haven't done all the wonderful things you have, seen those fantastical things, but now they'll be able to, thanks to you! Refuse anaesthetics to see, finally, what you're really made of.
30. No-Illusion Catch a Bullet in Your Teeth Trick, Russian State Circus
Be a part of the most convincing "death- defying" "trick" ever "performed."
54. Split an atom, French Polynesia
See what splitting an atom looks like, and subsequently have your own atoms distributed over the south Pacific.
...
76. Twanged into a cliff; Dover ...
Ad centum.-- theleopard, Mar 25 2008 1971 - and before http://www.aerospac...osphere/q0291.shtml [normzone, Mar 25 2008] Book: How to Die in the Outdoors: 100 Interesting Ways http://www.amazon.c...Ways/dp/1570340196/Surprisingly close in subject, if not in tone. Key phrases: screwworm fly, cane toad, bite site, water hemlock. [jutta, Apr 01 2008] Complete Self-Cannibalisation http://www.cjewelry...nts-20100727106.jpgMy brother's suggestion, neatly demonstrated by this rather wan-looking dragon. [theleopard, Apr 02 2008, last modified Aug 03 2011] Smilex http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKFeuBfDTsoFrom Batman (1989), where the Joker poisons household products. [Jinbish, Apr 02 2008] 101 things you might end up doing after you die http://www.wwnorton...spring04/032482.htmStiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers [Ander, Apr 03 2008] Cadavers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CadaverFascinating reading, makes me want to buy [Ander]'s book (above). Not keen on the chicken soup bit, mind. [theleopard, Apr 04 2008] Dave Freeman - co-author of "100 Things To Do Before You Die" http://www.nydailyn..._do_before_you.htmlDied falling over in his house and hitting his head. [theleopard, Aug 27 2008] The Darwin Awards http://www.darwinawards.com/ [DrBob, Aug 28 2008] this will turn into a list if you aint careful.-- po, Mar 25 2008 This sounds more like "100 things to do to make you die" certainly doesn't track with the title of the idea. I was kind of hoping for a list of 100 things that if performed would lead to your demise sort of like a rube goldburg type of way to kill oneself.-- jhomrighaus, Mar 25 2008 Great link, [norm] - I've wondered about that every time I've watched 2001. And that's a lot of times.
As for the idea, I've always wanted to see a nuke going up from close quarters.-- wagster, Mar 25 2008 Excellent - won't spoil by adding any suggestions that would turn idea into a list, but definitely have several.-- xenzag, Mar 25 2008 I own a book that tries to do that - "Final Exits" by Michael Largo. It's not world's most scholarly publication, but it has pictures, and tries to also list how many people have died from the various individual causes.-- jutta, Mar 25 2008 //It's not world's most scholarly publication, but it has pictures.// Marked-for-something.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2008 tea cosies will feature undoubtably-- po, Mar 25 2008 [jhom], not a bad idea that, but I would conjecture that a 100 point suicide programme, within which each and every step is vital to the final destination, would be of such mind-boggling complexity as to make it nothing short of genius.
[wags] //nuke// I have a similar fascination with tidal wave surfing. I'm still waiting for a deep impact to produce the adequate surf.
Hello [po]. This book *is* a list. But not a call for one.-- theleopard, Mar 26 2008 This is just a slightly deficient version "101 to kill a person," which was done to death after the "101 ways to kill a cat" craze. Even if you are riffing a different meme.-- DrCurry, Mar 26 2008 sp. "centum"
Otherwise, top-notch idea, if a bit morbid.-- dbmag9, Mar 26 2008 Never heard of 101 ways to kill a cat (sounds funny, despite my feline moniker). Anyway, the idea isn't just 100 ways of killing yourself. It's 100 ways of experiencing something otherwise limited by our instinctive desire to stay alive. 100 of the most life-changing experiences imaginable, if you will.
Perhaps my examples weren't extravagant enough.
Cheers [bdmag9]. Edited.-- theleopard, Mar 26 2008 Some lists, while not specifically called-for, per se, are warranted. Refer to the Diplodrome. As with any HB interdiction, I deign to the hubris of declaring that the enforcement is on a case-by-case basis.
List away, mateys. For instance:
- Bad Fugu
You've always wanted to try the fugu, but were too afraid. Now, you may eat without fear, because it was prepared by an unlicensed sous-chef, for readers of this book only. Happy asphyxiation!-- globaltourniquet, Mar 28 2008 Live Organ Donorship, the Hospital
Show some heart, and then give it away to someone less fabulous than yourself. They haven't done all the wonderful things you have, seen those fantastical things, but now they'll be able to, thanks to you! Refuse anaesthetics to see, finally, what you're really made of.-- theleopard, Mar 28 2008 The No-Illusion Catch a Bullet in Your Teeth Trick.-- Noexit, Mar 28 2008 - Buried Alive!
Get buried with a corpse in a coffin like you've always wanted - after a while, you light a mtch, and the dead guy is the guy who was supposed to dig you out! Ooooo, scaaaary!-- globaltourniquet, Mar 28 2008 I'm in, where do I sign up? I want to go tiger punching in India, no wait, I want the Iranian Gay Tours, I mean no, the parachuteless skydiving .... oh gosh, I can't decide, they all look like fun. Hmmm, I better sit on this one out for a while before I sign up. Maybe when I turn 80. Oh crap, I just remembered, I'm immortal..... damn you mulitverse, why didn't you deal me the reality where I am a multi-billionare by the time I'm 20!!!! [+]-- quantum_flux, Apr 02 2008 I'd be more impressed if this was actually 100 things which, if all done, would lead to your death. So, rather than 100 things, any one of which might lead to your death, 100 things, each one harmless by itself, but lethal when combined with the other 99.-- hippo, Apr 02 2008 //I'd be more impressed if //
As would I, but, as I said to [jhom] that //would be of such mind-boggling complexity as to make it nothing short of genius//. And a genius I am not. I don't even know where I'd start. Unless you made it into some kind of domino-effect building guide with an axe at the end, but that would be boring.-- theleopard, Apr 02 2008 What about 3 things, when experienced individually result in no harm whatsoever, but when combined in any order lead to an agonising death?
Oh - hold on. That's been done... (linky)-- Jinbish, Apr 02 2008 I like it! I mean, all of these would be painful, but.. As I understand it, these are things you do AFTER you've done all those other things, because you won't get the chance after one of these. Neat.
Oh, and if you're "stepping out for a breath of fresh vaccuum," you might take a camera and a friend (not too close a friend, mind you) to film what happens to you. That way we won't have to wonder.
[+] Haha.-- TahuNuva, Apr 05 2008 There was an astrophysicist whose name I do not recall, on a PBS documentary, who said something on the lines of "I believe that one of the coolest ways to die would be to fall into a black hole."
Now we just need a way to fly to the nearest black hole.-- qt75rx1, Apr 07 2008 The large hadron collider will take care of the black hole issue.-- Cuit_au_Four, Apr 07 2008 [hippo] Repeatedly falling one foot should meet your requirements, starting from one hundred feet up.-- james_what, Apr 09 2008 My brother, in a moment of profound maturity, offered the suggestion, "Fucking with dinosaurs."-- theleopard, Apr 09 2008 1. Dress as a Royal Marine Commando.
2. Make your way to the NCO's Mess of 2 Bn. The Parachute Regiment. Time your visit for about 2300 Hrs the day after the batallion has returned from a major exercise.
3. Select the most intoxicated person present (this may take some time and skill).
4. Purchase a drink.
5. "Accidentally" spill the drink over your target's mess uniform.
6. Point at them and announce loudly, "Ha ! Ha ! I thought only fairies had wings !".
The resulting phenomenon may be of considerable interest to experimental physicists, this being the shortest measurable time between someone finishing speaking and their body being entirely disassembled into its component atoms.-- 8th of 7, Aug 27 2008 Do you miss the days of honor and justice? Do you thirst for a gentleman's life or a Lady's true station? For a limited time, try our new Dueling Camp! A slap with the silk glove and its time to choose your weapon! Will you select the well crafted duling pistol or the battle axes? Are you a rebel, a barbarian, or a soldier? Whatever your whim, we have the satisfaction to match it!-- Voice, Aug 28 2008 What if you make the 99th thing 'inject yourself with a secret serum that makes you live forever'?-- Yarely, Aug 28 2008 Tiger Punching sounds entertaining (well briefly anyway), however the idea has a touch of the Darwin Awards about it, I think, although these ideas are obviously deliberately idiotic rather than just plain idiotic. I would add the manly pursuit of tending the barbecue to this list. Over the top of an active volcano, of course.-- DrBob, Aug 28 2008 Marry Courtney Love. Or OJ Simpson for that matter. yikes. What if Courtney married OJ? Wow. Game on, Eh?? The Black Widow versus the Black Widower.
Shotguns and hunting knives. [+]-- r_kreher, Aug 30 2008 random, halfbakery