h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Some marketroid or other has determined that a tallish aspect ratio makes foodstuff containers appear posher and more seductive (this beanpole wishes the same held for humans, but never mind). Thus jars of preserve are getting increasingly tall and thin, with the result that it's impossible not to contaminate
the knife handle when extracting jam from the bottom.
The solution is to include a stiff jam-spreader attached to the inside of the lid, not unlike the brushes that used to come in jars of rubber cement. The spreader, basically a plastic knife, reaches to the bottom and goes right back in the jar after use.
For those concerned about the waste of materials, make the whole affair recyclable, and consider the savings in water, heat, and effluent when there is no knife to be washed.
Reaction to comments (sheesh!): yeast is thoroughly killed by baking -- clean fresh bread is pretty close to sterile. (Sugar concentration in jelly kills most microbes by osmosis anyway -- one reason why it's called "preserves.") You get to the corners not by going diagonally, but going staight down on the side. (OK, so there's that last little bit that's the height of the lid threads: make the scraper a little longer and flexible, so the tip bends when stowed.) First use: scrape the excess off as you withdraw -- jar is not filled all the way to the top. Tube and pump: still need to spread it around, and how do the strawberries get through the nozzle?
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Would still have to wash the spreader...at least I would...it's been smeared around over bread that contains yeast, if nothing else, then put it back into the pure-sugar jelly? |
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Problem: the first use would yield a spreader coated top to bottom in a thick layer of preserve. 'little to much for one sandwitch, eh? Also, a spreader with a height equal to the height of the jar wouldn't be able to reach the jam in the corners. It's that whole dang geometric laws thing. |
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How about and extendable / retractable spreader? Extend it to get into those awkward corners; retract it to scrape the jam (yeast, butter etc.) off the spreader and leave it clean for the next user. |
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Of course, a true solution to your problem would be to package jam in a toothpaste tube, but that would _not_ appear posher and more seductive... |
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...or package jam in one of those soap-dispenser bottles. Just one pump and you've got enough for your slice of toast. |
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The retractable one would have joints to get contaminated...The pump is a better idea, but you never get all of it with that, either...I like the tube, myself, and don't care what it looks like...Most people who eat PB+J aren't doing it to be posh anyway... |
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Come to think of it, I have seen jelly in pump form at motel buffets and the like. It is perfect for those situations where you wouldn't like to take the risk that somebody hadn't contaminated your jelly before you got there. |
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What about jam in aerosol form for dieters? Just spray a thin coating on your toast. |
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My brother has a lotion bottle that is rather like a squeeze bottle for thicker salad dressings. A bottle like this, but with a larger hole could work... |
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Finally, we have come to a
useful application of PAINTBALL
TECHNOLOGY. like NASA, these
hardy souls have been out
improving their weapons for no
apparent reason & now now now
we can reap the benefits. NO
MORE MESSY KNIVES. classy
conspicuous consumption for the
common woman and that guy in
the corner! a way to make
eating sugar even more fun for
kids. I am talking about
***single serving gelatin
capsules of jam! they can be
kept in the jar, one could even
fish them out with YOUR HANDS,
extricate your preserves with
paws cleaner than they were
that day that you hallucinated
the cod liver smell and
compulsively washed your hands
from 11 am until 4:30. |
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Once free of it's
tallthinlitheattractivesexreferent
container, the capsule could
either be: punctured and
squeezed onto the desired
surface, warmed to a
temperature that would dissolve
the capsule (see the R&D dept.
for this number), fired at a
high velocity onto the food
product. Family fun, and it
also offers the opportunity to
accessorize your kitchen
further. Christmas morning, a
clumsily wrapped JamBlaster2025
will be stowed under the tree
ready for mom's faux joy. |
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Give me jam in a capsule or
give me that crazy pizza cooker
that I just saw on TV. |
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Jam / jelly in a squeeze tube would rock! Peanut butter, too. Do the Aquafresh thing and put both in the same tube. Sell mini-tubes for kids' lunch boxes. |
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Jam in a squeeze tube exists...My father bought a plastic bottle of strawberry jam. It has a slot under the lid that's an inch by a .25 or so, and you can 'spread' it by squeezing it back and forth across the bread. |
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So, it seems to be 'spread'. |
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jam jars could have a lid top and bottom |
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I, for one, salute the idea. If this becomes baked I would be one of the first to go and buy one. Crossie to you rmutt, if you're still here to get it. |
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Sounds like space food to me! |
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I hadn't tried the tube I mentioned above before...It doesn't work very well. You have to squeeze like hell to get any out at all, and then it makes a rude noise and splatters the cat. I keep ending up with a pile that I have to shove around with a knife anyway. It's easier to get to than out of a jar, but kind of a pain in the butt... |
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I've bought the jam in the squeeze bottle. The technique I use is to extrude the jam in a squiggly fashion across one slice of bread; after closing the bottle, use another slice of bread to smear the jam uniformly. The second piece becomes the "lid" to your jam sandwich.
Usually, however, I use a spoon or a knife and simply rinse it off after I'm done.
And the bargain brands usually come in short, squat bottles anyway. |
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