h a l f b a k e r yIf you need to ask, you can't afford it.
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Firewall Hat
To keep your brain safe from unnecessary/potentially dangerous information | |
Mostly to be used at meetings, the firewall hat is a brimmed hat about shoulder width all around. Upon hearing the beginning of any information that can immediately be recognised as personally irrelevent a button is pushed that ignites a ring of small jets positioned, pointing downwards, on the rim
of the brim. This will create a ring of flame descending to approximately the level of the bottom of the ear so saving the wearer from further burdening an already over-burdened brain.
[link]
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Is the gas to be provided by fermentation inside the alimentary canal of the wearer? |
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Or possibly from a secret underseat pipe from the chair of the Chair. |
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I'm a bit sad to see four fishbones on this, obviously people aren't imagining this fine hat in use, sobersuited and firewallhatted businesstypes, seated around a bland meeting room desk, each keen to pursue their own agenda, but each also aware that the moment their turn comes to speak, all other attendees will ingite their hats, leaving the speaker to drone on folorn and ignored about Q3 uptick into an air thick with the smell of gas and of burned eyebrows. Think of it as a phlogistonic and therefore more arresting representation of the now pandemic "Ignoring by BlackBerry" technique. |
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Dang—so all this time the aluminum foil wasn't enough? |
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//Dang—so all this time the aluminum foil wasn |
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wonders is additional tinfoil chaff would help, especially if it's glued to mice and then ejected upwards by air cannon... |
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