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Birth Wash
re-experience the wonders of birth, and clean your car | |
A fee is paid, and you drive your dirty car up onto the conveyor belt. You are transported slowly through a tunnel that resembles the lining of the womb and each trimester is condensed into a 5 minute wax and polish. Soapy amber coloured amneotic fluid covers your windscreen, as huge rubbery ovaries
spin and remove any dirt. At the final stage, the vehicle is pushed out through a huge vertical aperture, and the service station attendant comes out dressed as a doctor, complete with surgical mask to cut the umbilical cord that is attached to your rear bumper.
[link]
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did he have to give it such a hearty slap? |
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...just taking the Vulva in for a cervix.... |
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Will this trip squash my front end into a pointy shape? |
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If a car jumps the track - C-section. |
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I'd sell seats in the outside grass for $2.00 if there were sound effects loud enough to be heard in the car. |
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what about that cheesy white stuff? |
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Does the car wash have to be shaved - or does that not happen anymore? |
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I wonder where my midwife, home delivery aunt would take her car for washing. She delivers babies in jacuzzis. |
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My friend Sigmund would like to have a discussion with you about your childhood. |
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Talk about controversy! And eww this is weird/gross. |
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Wow... that's really far out, man. I mean, we should keep going with all of this, all exits should be fashioned after the vagina and its role in childbirth. All entrys, well, I can just think about it, and so can you. |
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