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Kiddie Car Wash
Help stop the nightmares
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When I was a young child, I was terrified of automatic car washes. I'm talking about the kind where you sit in your car while it is towed through a dark tunnel filled with violently moving apparati. So, to assuage the fears of the very young, these machines could be given a cutesy veneer. The heavy waving strips could be rendered as a soapy pink octopus, the rotating brushes could be giant teddy bears, the hot wax nozzles could be formed into clown heads, and the guys in greasy overalls who towel you off at the end could be given greasy elf suits. Oh, hey this gives me another idea...if the Kiddie Car Wash works out, perhaps something similar could be tried, but in a "psychedelic" theme, for hippies.

saxman, Jan 04 2008

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       That's even creepier than the normal car wash...

globaltourniquet, Jan 04 2008
  

       Just no.   

       Aside from the fact that the brat will be scarred for life by this, who says it's our job to alleviate terror in young children? Where did we get this idea that small humans are so immensely precious that adults have to mould their entire lives to the needs of these not-yet-people?

MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 04 2008
  

       Jimi hendrix meets Mr. Bickford including nautilus, every kids dream.   

       Turn this into a clay animation upon a a popular 1973 TV set and you'll receive my paltry bun.

skinflaps, Jan 04 2008
  

       I agree with globatourniquet.   

       I already thought that the "heavy waving strips" WHERE octopi, and that's what I was afraid of!

BJS, Jan 04 2008
  

       Ah. Rich people who can afford to use a car wash. Will try to find someone of my own class...

vincevincevince, Jan 04 2008
  

       //Rich people who can afford to use a car wash.//   

       for people who don't even have cars........... i have 1 word for you.....*piggybackride*...it's how i go from point a to b.

pyggy potamus, Jan 04 2008
  

       // our job to alleviate terror in young children...... small humans .. so immensely precious.... these not-yet-people //   

       There was once a President Buchanan in the USA ..... if you run, we will vote for you. .....   

       We were hoping for some way for lashing disorderly yooves to roofracks and giving them another sort of lashing with cold, soapy ropes .....

8th of 7, Jan 05 2008
  

       Obligatory WIFRT: I thought it was going to suggest building a scaled-down version of the ride-through car wash for cleaning soiled kiddie-cars, or other such smaller format vehicles (tricycles, ride-on mowers, ATVs, recumbent cycles, scooters, skateboards, etc.)

Canuck, Jan 05 2008
  

       Yes [Canuck] and for the little *kiddies* themselves when they refuse to take a bath.

xandram, Jan 08 2008
  

       There was a kid at school who decided he didn't want to shower in winter. We gave him a "carwash"... with stiff brooms, lye soap and cold water. He had begun to smell bad after about 4 days without bathing. I would love to have simply strapped him to the roof of a car and driven through a carwash.   

       Incidentally, a friend once told me he went through a carwash eighteen consecutive times, whilst on an acid trip. He ran out of money before the novelty wore off.

UnaBubba, Jan 08 2008
  

       to be politially correct, it must be one of those *touchless* car washes (if you're going to strap the children to the car)

xandram, Jan 08 2008
  

       Eh, if we really want the kiddies to learn a life lesson let's give them the warm, fuzzy, cutesy car wash and then sucker punch them at the end.

Noexit, Jan 09 2008
  

       I just found out what happens when you have a big, excitable and somewhat dim dog in the back of your car and then three large Polish gentlemen 'attack' the outside with sprays, mops and buckets.   

       It's extremely funny.

wagster, Jan 09 2008
  

       [wagster] If you are washing the car, I take it the house is finished? Also, a presume you had the executive clean. That's a wash, a wax and a polish.

4whom, Jan 09 2008
  

       The house (well, apartment) is indeed finished. And not a moment too soon. However I will soon be forced to depart from it as, unexpectedly, the family is soon to outgrow it.   

       Man plans, God laughs.

wagster, Jan 10 2008
  

       Well done [wagster], congrats to the expanding family. <slaps [wags] on back, in a welcome to fatherhood kind of way>. Hope everything goes better than well!

4whom, Jan 10 2008
  
      
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