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Exploding pens
escalating the arms race against pen thieves at an alarming rate
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Nobody likes pen thieves, however, some dislike them more than others. As I was discussing another idea, someone suggested I develop some form of exploding pens in order to destroy the miscreants.

While I am in theory opposed to using advanced technology to kill or maim individuals when fisticuffs could solve the probme easier, the market appears to be demanding these devices. So, against my better judgement, Virtucom presents Exploding Pens.

All exploding pens are filled with a generous selection of potent explosives intended to kill, maim, or severely embarrass your enemies.

Mark I exploding pens are equipped with a pair of small magnets, lightly glued in place, and separated from each other by a thin sheet of percussion-detonating material, which leads to the main charge in the body of the pen. As your enemy takes the pen, and walks through the metal door frame of your office, the ferrous door frame will induce enough of a pull to remove the magnets from their glue mountings, allowing them to come together, and percuss upon the aforementioned percussion detonator.

Mark II exploding pens are retractable. Pusing the retract button activates a timer.

Mark III exploding pens are equipped with a WiFi reciever, and are detonated at the whim of the original owner.


ye_river_xiv, May 18 2008

12V MN21 battery http://cpc.farnell....ku=duracell-7031681
Suitable battery [8th of 7, May 18 2008]

Tilit switch http://cpc.farnell....u=assemtech-cm13r-0
The actual type of tilt switch used [8th of 7, May 18 2008]

Pen http://www.euroffic...-04mm-Black-Pack-12
The actual type of pen used [8th of 7, May 18 2008]

Microdet http://www.tplpyro.co.uk/maroons.html
Suitable minature maroon, 4th from bottom of list. [8th of 7, May 18 2008]



Annotation:







       This is Baked, in 1991.   

       A persistant and incorrigible pen thief was deterred from further predations by the production of an exploding pen.   

       The pen in question was a Pentel liquid-ink rollerball.   

       The device was assembled by removing the end plug from the pen barrel. The ink resevoir was removed, and in its place was installed a 12V minature cigarette lighter battery, a mercury tilt switch, and a No. 0 Theatrical maroon. A small hole drilled in the side of the pen about half-way along allowed an unfolded paperclip to be inserted to act as a safety switch; when the pin was withdrawn, the device was armed, and initiated when the barrel was tited to within 20% of vertical.   

       The maroon was placed rearmost in the pen barrel, charge first. The cap was then glued in place. This ensured that when it fired, the rear portion of the barrel and the cap would move upwards with relatively low velocity - given their higher mass - and thus reduce the risk of injury to the target's eyes.   

       The central placement of the charge within the barrel resuted in a radial rupture, peppering the target's hand and forearm with hard plastic shrapnel. The skin was marked, but there was no bleeding. After 3 hours, a small amount of localised bruising was visible.   

       The target did not completely cease to steal unguarded pens, but did thereafter carry a ruler with which to prod unguarded writing implements to ensure they were not booby-trapped.   

       It would be a simple matter to upgrade the device to cause serious or fatal injury.   

       <later>   

       As a method of dealing with cigarette thieves, their activities can be deterred by taking a standard filter tipped cigarette and carefully dripping a supersaturated solution of potassium nitrate in distilled water on to the centre portion, carefully rotating and drying after each application.   

       After saturation is complete, the cigarette should be brushed very gently to remove any tell-tale crystals adhering to its surface.   

       Place the cigarette in a location where the thief will take it. When lit, it will burn normally for a few puffs, but then erupt into violent flame, causing superficial burns to the fingers of the target, and possible loss of some facial hair.   

       Users of this device are advised to equip themselves with a pair of earplugs (because of the cursing from the target), and a good pair of running shoes.   

       BorgCo Obligatory Legal Disclaimer: "Device may cause serious injury or death if used correctly."

8th of 7, May 18 2008
  

       Ha, [8th of 7], I would have liked to have seen the look on the recipient's face. A lesser version would have the pen literally wetting itself.   

       P.S. Makes note to self: never borrow anything from [8th of 7]. And especially never borrow anything that he leaves lying around.

Ling, May 18 2008
  

       // I would have liked to have seen the look on the recipient's face //   

       Yes, you would. Considering the seniority of the victim in the organisation, and his humiliation in front of a large number of his staff, he took it amazingly well.   

       //never borrow anything that he leaves lying around.//   

       <Vader> "You have learnt well, but you are not a Jedi yet .... </Vader>

8th of 7, May 18 2008
  

       ya'll are nuts; i just wanted ink to stain the perp's shirt.

FlyingToaster, May 18 2008
  

       What's wrong with their own blood, then ? You got a problem with that ?   

       In mitigation, the design parameters of the baked version were carefully considered to ensure that the device was in the "Low-lethality" class of anti-personnel weapons; obviously, if the target had a bad heart, the shock could kill them.

8th of 7, May 18 2008
  

       ...I've always been of the opinion that detailed descriptions of explosive devices, complete with shopping lists are a risky thing to be posting on the internet...   

       I still think RFID would be the wiser way to handle this sort of situation.

ye_river_xiv, May 19 2008
  

       [8th], did you really fit a 10.3mm diameter battery inside that pen? I wouldn't have though it would fit.

Custardguts, May 20 2008
  

       [custardguts] Those Pentels are (were?) pretty fat* - I can believe this one.

The big green-bodied ones with black caps and white nylon(?) ball-surrounds?

coprocephalous, May 20 2008
  

       [Custard], might not have been that exact same battery, and [Copro] yes, and yes, one of the fat green liquid ink jobs, that's why it was selected.

8th of 7, May 20 2008
  

       I would like to go on record as recommending a tazer, or pepper spray charge instead of a pen-grenade.

ye_river_xiv, May 21 2008
  


 
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